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Will You Change Your Space?

It has been one year since his death, and when you walk into the house, it feels like everything has changed. For years you have entered the house through the same door, expressed greetings in the same way, and seen the same faces. Now, after his death, it feels like your life is not yours. It can take your breath away if you let it.

Physically changing the space you share with your husband can help you heal, as long as you do it in your own time. Some widows like to move some items out of the house and give to charity as a way to honor their spouse. Others like to box up his belongings for a time before deciding what to do with them. Others take their time and gradually pass the items along to family members or other community members that can use them. Some widows transform special rooms into a place to remember their loved one. Whatever you decide to do with the physical space of your home, do what feels best to you and in a way that would honor your loved one.

How to change your space:

  • Make a list of changes you have dreamed about, even while you were married.
  • Make a list of people, places, and organizations your spouse enjoyed and consider what items you can donate to them.
  • Create a ritual or a special time when you honor the memories connected to the items or to the special room. Take photos or write descriptions about it in a journal.
  • When you are ready to release the items or to make the changes, do it with confidence, allowing the tears to come and go. Believe you are okay and it is okay to make the changes.

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Grief Counselor Karen Liebold Head shotAbout the Author: 
Grief Counselor Karen Liebold, L.C.P.C., M.A. is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor committed to grief education. Karen has worked with clients in a variety of settings and has presented professional education workshops and seminars at both the national and international levels.

Disclaimer: This blog post provides general educational information from a mental health professional, but you should not substitute information on this blog for individual professional advice. If you are thinking of hurting yourself or someone else, contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255, call 911 or visit your local hospital Emergency Room. Karen Liebold is not a licensed representative of Royal Alliance Associates or Phase 3 Advisory Services.