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When we are grieving, it is easy to go about each day striving to just make it through. And then something changes, and suddenly we realize we are living a new life. It may be a life filled with grief, but it’s new and comfortable. Sometimes this just happens. Other times, we need to be the one to instigate the change. We might place limits on ourselves and our life, and we may struggle with imagining a different way, but to create a new life after loss can be healing. If you find yourself looking at your life and wondering how you can change it, try this:

Close your eyes and ask yourself the question, “If money were no object, how would I design my life?” Let yourself imagine.

  • Would I still work? If yes, how many hours a week would I work?
  • What activities would I include in my schedule?
  • What activities would I eliminate?
  • What kind of environment would I work in?
  • What would I like to do with my leisure time?
  • What outer obstacles (e.g., time or money) are keeping me from making my dreams become a reality?
  • What inner obstacles (e.g., fears, self-limiting beliefs) are keeping me from living the life I want?
  • What can I do to deal with these inner concerns?

(taken from Therapist’s Guide to Self-Care by Lillie Weiss)

After you have considered the answers to these questions, talk with a friend or a counselor to help you create a new life after loss. Even in the midst of grieving, you can live your dream life. Lillie Weiss recommends to “deliberate on the best way to make your vision become a reality.”  It does not have to all happen at once, but you can make steps toward a new future and tend your grief as you go.

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Grief Counselor Karen Liebold Head shotAbout the Author: Grief Counselor Karen Liebold, L.C.P.C., M.A. is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor committed to grief education. Karen has worked with clients in a variety of settings and has presented professional education workshops and seminars at both the national and international levels.

Disclaimer: This blog post provides general educational information from a mental health professional, but you should not substitute information on this blog for individual professional advice. If you are thinking of hurting yourself or someone else, contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255, call 911 or visit your local hospital Emergency Room. Karen Liebold is not a licensed representative of Royal Alliance Associates or Phase 3 Advisory Services.