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Death of Your Dreams

When your spouse died, the dreams you had together died, as well. Plans like retirement and travel, living in a new place, or saving for a big purchase, are now no longer feasible. You dreamed and planned for a future of relaxation, peace, and comfort. You may not have planned for the sudden loss that be the death of your dreams. What do you do with the broken dreams that death brings?

When a dream dies, you must grieve it, even as you’re grieving your loss. It’s like doing double grief duty: grieving the physical loss of your husband, and then the secondary losses that death brings, like broken dreams. You may experience a range of emotions when thinking of the dreams that will never become reality. You may feel anger, hurt, sadness, and emptiness. Waves of grief that may wash over you it occurs to you that another dream is gone.

Tips to grieving the death of your dreams:

  • Talk about the dreams you shared with your spouse with a trusted friend.
  • Create a ritual to honor the dreams you shared. This could be writing them down and putting in a memory box. Find a way that would be meaningful to you that would symbolize the dream once lived.
  • Create a ritual to release the dream. This could be lighting a candle, sending off a balloon, or floating a boat in a stream; whatever would be meaningful to you to release this dream.
  • Allow yourself, when it is time and when you are ready, to dream again.

Related:
Speak Your Truth Amidst the Pain 
Intense Pain: Is This Depression or Grief?
Financial Decisions for the First Year

About the Author: Grief Counselor Karen Liebold, L.C.P.C., M.A. is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor committed to grief education. Karen has worked with clients in a variety of settings and has presented professional education workshops and seminars at both the national and international levels.

Disclaimer: This blog post provides general educational information from a mental health professional, but you should not substitute information on this blog for individual professional advice. If you are thinking of hurting yourself or someone else, contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255, call 911 or visit your local hospital Emergency Room. Karen Liebold is not a licensed representative of Royal Alliance Associates or Phase 3 Advisory Services.